Kids at Weddings? Here’s what to consider
Photo: Claire Penn Photography
The big question, should you have kids at your wedding? This comes down to your personal opinion and what sort of situations your guests find themselves in.
We’re parents ourselves and we’ve navigated arranging our weddings pre-kids, as well as being guests at numerous weddings post kids. We can see all the angles and we hope this perspective really helps in this article.
This can be a delicate matter - remember you’re asking your guests to travel and potentially be away from their kids for a while (some may welcome the chance!) which comes with a whole host of organisation and expenses, as does taking kids abroad. It can be a stress point for all involved, so approaching this with tact is advised.
We find the best way to tackle this is to take an open approach and have a few conversations with guests before deciding what you’re going to suggest and offer in terms of your kids policy.
If someone is breastfeeding, it’s very unlikely they’ll be able to leave their child for
any long period. You shouldn’t expect them to be without their child for any part of
the day.
If someone has a toddler, they are relatively unlikely to want to leave them in a
location that’s distant from the wedding venue or at home. Even if they are, it’s
potentially unlikely the child will take well to this and could result in the parent not
making it to the wedding on the day.
Your friends will try and make all sorts of scenarios work to mean
they can be at your wedding, bringing grandparents out to Italy, trying to come on their own and leave
the kids but managing kids is a huge challenge that comes with a lot of unexpected scenarios.
Photo Lincoln Pictures
If you’re not wishing to have kids at the wedding, our best advice is to have a no ‘older’ kids policy and have plans in place to support your friends with babies and very young children.
Babysitters are easy to find and low cost, so having a few babysitters on site at the wedding, to look after much younger kids could be the perfect compromise that allows your guests with young babies to actually come to your wedding, while getting moments that are child free. Note that you tend to need 1 babysitter to 2 babies minimum.
Don’t just invite family kids. This may seem sensible in the moment, less kids overall but the more you have, the more likely they are to play together and entertain themselves.
Kids tables are great! In fact, most kids eat loads at the aperitif so setting a full dinner service for them can be a waste and tedious to expect them to sit through. Set them up their own spot through the dinner and make it fun. They can come and join in with the adults if they want to - let them choose!
Get a kids entertainer for part of the day, like the aperitif. In this moment when parents just want a drink and a chat, kids are being entertained by someone (frankly) more entertaining than their own parents. This also wears them out and makes the evening less chaotic.
Hire a proper nanny – this is great for slightly older kids as they’ll actually play with them and won’t expect their parents to provide entertainment. You’ll find them off around the estate playing hide and seek, football, generally having a great time.
Have a cosy nook – create a room with some activities the kids can retreat to, a telly/ipad is also a really good idea. Weddings can be overwhelming and somewhere the kids know they can go for some quiet time is important. This is also a great place for them to crash later.
Want to know what other Italian wedding couples have done by including or not including kids on their day - join the chat here on our Facebook group and ask away.
Ready to send out those all important wedding invites? Here’s our breakdown on what comms to consider & of course some fabulous stationery inspo!
Written by Lucy White, Founder of La Lista & Wiskow & White, with over 5 years and 150 weddings worth of experience.
