Managing the timing of speeches at an Italian wedding
We love a good speech here at La Lista! Seeing the bride and groom’s faces fill with happiness as their loved ones or themselves reminisce about first dates, shower the couple with hopes and congratulations for their future and always with a few jokes! Friends and family doubled over with laughter, with the energy of love and celebration engulfing every single person round the table is truly something which needs to be bottled and treasured.
However, we have all been to weddings where the speeches drag, jokes are left hanging, stories turn into monologues - transforming from tipsy energy to a drowsy ‘when is this going to end’ vibe.
At an Italian wedding there are other factors to consider when planning your speeches and we have some suggestions on how to nail speeches to capture the fun, emotion focus on the bride and groom whilst keeping . Short and sweet people - leave them wanting more. Mic drop.
Photo: Taylor-Hughes
Depending on how many speeches you will have it's certainly worth splitting to different parts of the day. Perhaps have the bride and groom or a parent's speech during the aperitif. This is always more of a welcome and thank you tone, recapping how the couple met, perhaps their engagement story; a moment for the bridal party. And a lovely opportunity to thank your supplier dream team!
Consider that guests will be standing during the aperitif, so don't make these speeches too long. The heat will still be strong and there might be limited shade.
Keep this to one speaker so as to allow guests to mingle and time for your photographer to whisk you away for some bride and groom shots whilst everyone is sipping a spritz.
Choose wisely! Someone who can command attention when asking the guests to take their seats and announcing reminders on shuttle times for the end of the night. But also someone who is going to set the vibe you want for your day.
There is a fine line between bringing the energy and becoming an 'award ceremony comedian'. This person needs to steer the day with fun whilst not clawing for the limelight.
At an Italian wedding timing is everything; the food is cooked for service and they will use the timings which you originally discussed with them or your planner. So when you consider a speech going on 10 more minutes than originally briefed, the chefs in the kitchen are going to be sitting on overcooked pasta.
Not only don't you want to mess up the food timings, but you want to avoid relentless speeches. As well as working out the time set for each speaker, calculate the combined time and really consider if guests will want to sit for over an hour listening...with potentially no loo break either! The worst thing to happen is for guests to start to glaze over, get fidgety and the poor speaker at the time has lost their audience.
If your friend or family member is not a good public speaker and shies away from these moments - don't ask them. This is supposed to be a happy day for all and if they spend the first half of your wedding dripping in an anxious sweat over their lines then who is really winning here.
If you want them to still feel part of the day, why not ask them to choose a poem which can be read by someone else. Or write some words which can be wound into the ceremony by your celebrant or priest (if they allow it). Or if you really do want them to say something, perhaps they could announce the first toast; minimal words but still being included in this special moment.
Whoever you ask to stand and speak, you need to ensure they are properly briefed so the speeches flow and you avoid them dragging on.
Sound travels very differently whether you're inside or out; and it is likely with an Italian wedding you plan to have the meal (and the speeches) outside. Pre-warn speakers that they might have to project further or consider using a microphone.
Also check where they are sitting - whether they stand where they are or move to a more central point to speak. Again, it is common at Italian weddings to have one long table; now if your chosen person is sat at the end and speaks from their place, the other end might not be able to hear well enough.
Ask others how they have split up their wedding speeches in our private couples Facebook group. With thousands of couples in exactly the same planning position as you, you’ll be sure to read some helpful advice.
